Is this it?

So what am I doing? Of course, what and why can’t be separated. Although why is more interesting and often more important. To know a person’s motivation is the key to knowing the person. To understand their actions.

The need to connect or at least voice something. From confusion or dissatisfaction, perhaps. I want to contribute to the ramblings of discontent. Another one yes, I know. Trying not to be just negative, although I am, I say, a realist about humanity. About Humans.

“…then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman. That’s why you gotta make your own moves.”

It does not need to be so complex.

The rest of us, we look out for ourselves for the most and then our loved ones. What’s best for me and mine. This is not the problem, but just enduring with apathy as much of the world does, solves nothing. I am the same. Not apathetic but distracted by the mundane. Scared and scarred. Is this it? No, but the journey will unveil more, I hope.

So who will read this and does that matter? Does it matter who or how many? Or is it just for me? It needs to be more than that because it will consume so much of me. My thoughts and my time.

But it is for me mostly though, because of how it makes me feel. I have missed getting lost in that world of creation, selfish that it is. Time drips away like there is nothing else in the world. The isolation is exhilarating. But I’m sure I only remember the flowing times, when I couldn’t keep up with the story, the characters, themes and sub-plots as it engulfed and flooded out of me, dominating my dreams and waking me for notes to take in the dark. Often indiscernible in the light of morning. But that is fiction, a different beast.

I know the hardest thing will not be to post this but to tell people of this site, the window that it is.

But this is, hopefully, my first step. To what or where I don’t know. But at least I know why.

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